‘True restraint manifests with the vigor of courageous energy. It’s not about denial, condemnation, or a rigid system of dos and don’ts. True restraint is to stop, to notice. To take a breath and ask, “What am I actually doing?”
Restraint is not a question of “just say no”, or abstinence. It’s saying, “I see my craving, my attachment, my past suffering without judgment, and at this moment I resolve not to create more mindless suffering. Looking directly at my craving, I see I’m not helpless.”‘ (Most Intimate)
Enkyo’s book, especially the chapter on sex, has provided several weeks of excellent discussion in the small group I am working with on Monday nights. Since the energy of craving can be so powerful – I know this as well as anyone – continued attention and investigation is most necessary.