‘Becoming aware of the sudden feeling of anger is like having a thermometer in the mind. When I see the temperature jump, I know something has just happened that was either frightening or saddening. When I am skillful, instead of making any overt, angry response, I can spend a moment looking for the source of my fear or sadness. When I see the source, I am most likely to be able to address it skillfully , unconfused by the aversive state of anger.’ (It’s Easier Than You Think)
I remember the revelation, during a training at Zen Center, that anger often has fear as a source, and that has helped me navigate those particular stormy waters. As I have probably expressed before, mostly these days I get angry when I am out on my bike and a driver does something that threatens my safety. If the driver also gets angry, I will most likely stand my ground and continue in the same vein; if they apologise, or show some understanding of why I am upset, I find the anger dissipates right away, even if there is sometimes a delayed shock that lingers in the body from the threat.