‘ “Therefore, water is in places that are not rivers and seas; it is just that, when water descends to earth, it works as rivers and seas.”

This is the same as our life force: it works in certain ways. To be a writer is not my essence. It is simply a part within the stream of my life force. As a Dharma position at this moment I can be a writer, a lecturer, an abbot, a customer, a client, and so on. I am a teacher only when I am teaching. When I am at home with my family I am not a teacher. If I try to teach they become angry and don’t listen, so I try not to teach and I don’t say much about Dogen.’ (The Mountains and Waters Sutra)

Following on from the previous quote I used. I can affirm that speaking about Dogen with my family does not help anybody; my improved skills at patient listening are what works best with my family.