Shundo David Haye – Zen Priest

‘My first teacher, John Daido Loori Roshi, used to speak of taking refuge as abiding in complete trust — a trust devoid of safety nets. He said that the Japanese word for “taking refuge,” comes from the term ki-e, where ki, means “to unreservedly throw oneself into” and e is “to rely upon.” Then Roshi would invoke the image of a child throwing themselves unreservedly into a parent’s arms, completely trusting that the parent would catch them.

Normally we think of refuge as shelter, as a haven in which to take cover from danger, from the elements, from one another. Yet ki-e is a different kind of refuge altogether. It calls for courage and trust and vulnerability — an openness that I believe comes from the recognition that the universe is an infinitely fragile place. That we are infinitely fragile creatures. Yet to know this is terrifying, so in response some of us defend ourselves with hubris or bravado. Some of us retreat and shut down. Some of us recognize that the only way to deal with this fragility is to face it; it’s to hold it with a great deal of respect but also a kind of wonder. Who are we, really? Ki-e asks us to put ourselves out there, as it were, to be completely undefended, and there find protection.’

I don’t remember where I found this quote (Lion’s Roar at a guess), but I found it among notes for a dharma talk on taking refuge, which I don’t think I ever gave; I thought of including it in my talk on the 22nd, so we will see if it makes the cut.