Shundo David Haye – Zen Priest

I can’t say that I feel ready for the class that starts this morning. I don’t think I ever really feel ready. At a tired moment during the week I reflected on the inadequacies of my practice, and wondered how I could imagine that I could teach a class on being a Bodhisattva. But the point is that we make an effort. We point ourselves towards Buddha (as both Kosho Uchiyama and his student Shohaku Okumura had it), and keep going the best we can. 

I had a lighter week in terms of engagements (with next week being as packed as last week was), so I was able to carve out space to read. Most importantly, apart from a morning bike ride – which I started later than usual, having slept until 6:30, which was in itself a reaction to waking up at 3:00 on Thursday morning and not getting back to sleep – I had nothing planned for Friday.

This is my best preparation for teaching the dharma. I don’t have to spend all day focusing on it, but I also don’t have to focus on anything else. It was during my time as ino that I made the connection between my stress levels and having two big things to focus on – worrying about one, but having to deal with another one first. When there is only one thing on the horizon, it never seems as bad.

And yet I still don’t feel ready. And I know that the class will emerge from the conversation, especially as we have a lot of people signed up.