Shundo David Haye – Zen Priest

It’s been a while since I taught a class at Zen Center, and while I have my routines fairly set – including watching the first half of a Premier League match before I get everything into place – I had forgotten how intense it can be. There were almost thirty people on the call, too many to have introduce themselves at the beginning (to my way of thinking anyway), and I ended up launching into the material without even sitting for a few moments to start us off.

I had been a little nervous about how I was presenting the topic, and I definitely had the impression that I didn’t nail the launch. Once people started engaging and asking questions, I was very happy with how the bulk of the class went – even if we went a little off-topic at times. That doesn’t matter much to me if people are talking about what they want to know, and I get to share the aspects of practice that are important to me. 

Listening back to the recording during the week, I was confirmed in my impression of having been a little vague at the beginning, but at least it was clear that I could start the second class with some recaps and clarity. And then I think the rest of the material will take care of itself.

Having been spoiled earlier in the year with warm weather, we have been hit with some very drab days, with persistently cold wind. After the class, Saturday was so dreary and grey that I couldn’t rouse myself to do anything. 

Sunday’s roam was in the part of town that is usually sunniest and warmest; while we were exposed to the wind waiting at the start, once we got into McLaren Park, we were sheltered, and the sun broke through a little, so it felt nice. 

On Monday morning I had a wedding at City Hall; perhaps unsurprisingly I felt pretty tired for the next few days, even if a couple of planned teaching events didn’t happen. At least on Friday I had again the space to organise my thoughts – as well as record some meditations and catch up with Zen Center talks. Even when I have days with nothing on my calendar, there is always something to do. 

Is it a surprise that one of my meditations was about giving ourselves permission to pause?