Susan Piver

‘We all know what it feels like to treat others this way and to be treated like this—as a device rather than a person. it is very painful and, at the same time, very ordinary. You can tell when someone is looking right at you but not seeing you at all. They see their projection and, when you match it, there is harmony. When you diverge, there is discomfort. We all do this to others, all day long.

One definition of generosity in relationships is this: turn the projector off. Continuously set the intention and make the effort to separate the person you love from your projections about who they are and who you think they ought to be. Instead of holding them to your ideals, let down your guard. Open to them as they are. Release your agenda over and over. This is an incredibly generous thing to do.’ (from Lion’s Roar)

I have been studying this article on relationships with my student group, and this notion of releasing our own agendas again and again resonated.


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